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mostly because I didn't like feeling like I had something to hide. I only sat a room mate down and told her once, because I was just starting to come out at school. After that, there was much always someone that knew already. I don't think there is any obligation to tell them and if you get along with them well, then it is likely to come up in conversation at some point. Give yourself a while to get a feel for how they react and work towards moving to a different living situation if you feel they won't be supportive. If you are in a college room mate situation, you want to read through your school's housing policy to how they deal with relocating students who are not doing well in their living situation and get to know their policy on discrimination.
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if you were worried about sex and STDs the time for that talk was like 5 or 6 years ago. do you think think she is somehow ignorant and doesn't know how to use a condom? or know how STDs are spread? are you feeling bad about not having a talk when you should have? OR are you shocked about the number and the graphic information and feeling judgmental? i say this because you ed your daughter a slut. a slut. so you have some choices, you can tell your daughter you snooped. and you did. seriously, you can tell quick when a is yours or not your NAME and profile pic sort of give it away and they are at the TOP of the and chat is at the bottom. so you snooped. if you can't cop to it on an forum you probably be inclined to pull the same lame line of crap face to face with her. so look inward now and admit you snooped and violated her privacy. because if you don't there is no way you can continue with any more of the talk without looking like a total hypocrite. if you want to talk you need to be truthful, that's the point of having the talk, right? first you should process the shock because if you come to her with the attitude that she is a slut you alienate her, especially after you tell her you snooped. you need to get clear with yourself why you are talking with her is it you are GENUINELY concerned for her health and think she has no idea how to use a condom? because i am not buying it since you talk about how smart she is and that she is on birth control. her sex life is actually none of your business since she is an adult and has been for some time but if you really feel you have to make a judgement statement to her about how she isn't the you imagined she was be prepared to create a rift. if you lay it all out be prepared for all consequences. however take a moment and ask yourself why you don't trust your daughter to make her own choices. she is obviously not ashamed of her sex life, she talked about it with someone you say she isn't all that close with. but you are ashamed for her? if i were you i would write it in a journal and keep it to myself but if you must prepare yourself and be clear about what you want to say. personally i think it is more shameful to be a person who violates the privacy of another than a person who enjoys a sex life.
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